I must be too annoying 4 u.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
