You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
