dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
