just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
