I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I will be naked everywhere
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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