dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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