If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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