He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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