when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
