he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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