btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
