I am puke
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
