well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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