belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
