I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
