i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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