I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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