Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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