I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
