Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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