yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
