If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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