That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
