My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
