you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
