His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
