I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
pray to the hookup gods
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
