dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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