Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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