I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize