You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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