make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
