I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
