If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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