Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
