he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
