cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
