today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
