Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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