I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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