Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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