Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
