idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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