Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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