You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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