Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
