It's like God shit irony all over that family
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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