I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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