I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
