If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
